Questions About Open Adoption

What is Open or Semi-Open Adoption?
In an open adoption, the birthparent may choose the adoptive family themselves, rather than having an agency choose the family for them. They may also decide on the amount of contact they wish to have. Some women want letters and photos, others want visits or phone calls after the adoption and some want no contact at all. The choices are up to the birthparent and the adoptive family. Both parties have a wide variety of options. We encourage both the birthparents and the adoptive family to thoughtfully consider what they are seeking, and then we can work with them to fulfill their needs.

Why do women choose adoption?
Most women choose adoption because they love their child and realize that they are not ready to be the kind of parent they need to be at this time in their life. Others realize that there are unique reasons in their life that are preventing then from being able to parent their child. We realize that choosing adoption for a child can be a very difficult decision. We want to help birthparents make the right decision and help them explore parenting and adoption, letting them determine what is right for their child. It takes courage and strength to be able to make this important decision.


How are adoptive families screened?
Adoptive families are screened and pre-qualified. A licensed social worker will conduct a thorough home study evaluation and visit the adoptive family's home in their state. This includes a background check, medical evaluations, financial background, and FBI screening. Birthparents will be able to speak to families to determine whom they feel comfortable with adopting and raising their child.


Is this safe and legal?
Yes, open adoption is legal. Your adoption can be completed as an independent adoption or a designated agency adoption. The process is normally simple and confidential. All adoption laws are adhered to, allowing you peace of mind that your adoption is safe, legal and ethical. All legal work is conducted by a qualified adoption attorney and or a social worker and an adoption attorney is provided at no cost to the birthparents.

Are there any costs involved?
As a birthparent, there are no costs to you. Adoptive parents pay for legal fees, reasonable pregnancy-related expenses, medical bills not covered by insurance, consulting and counseling fees.

What age range are most of your birthmothers?
We have birthmothers from 12 years old to their late 40's. For some women this is their first child, others already have children. Some of our birthparents are married. Most birthparents love their child and want to provide them with the best home and future that they can. Adoption is a loving option for many.


What if I go into labor before I've made an adoption plan? Can you still work with me from the hospital?
Yes, we often receive calls from the hospital. We can have a family available for you within hours. In most states, the adoptive family will be able to take the baby home from the hospital, avoiding foster care. We have found that most birthmothers want to be sure that their baby can start bonding with their adoptive family right away. We are open for emergencies on all weekends, holidays and through the night. We have families that can travel within a few hours nationwide.


Can I select a family from a state other than my own?
The beauty of the internet is the access to a large variety of qualified families that will meet your specifications nationwide or if you prefer we have families in most states or can find some families for your state.


My child is older; do you have families that are interested in older children?
We have loving families seeking children of all ages and races. It is our policy not to separate siblings, so we work hard to find just the right family for you to interview for the adoption. You will be able to decide on the type of contact you wish after the placement.

What happens if my baby is born with a medical problem or disease?
There are loving families that are trained and prepared for caring for medically fragile children.  We strongly believe that children are best loved in families and not institutions.  So be sure your adoption professional has a plan in the event of an emergency.  We keep a list of parents that would be able to adopt a child with medical problems.  As difficult as it is, not all families are prepared to accept or handle a child with severe disabilities.  No one should feel bad, but realistically look at the situation and make a decision based on their abilities to raise this child. Most birth parents and adoptive parents agree, that the child’s needs are the most important.

I am afraid to tell the adoptive parents I smoked marijuana in the first months of my pregnancy, before I knew I was pregnant.  Should I tell them?  I don't want them to judge me or reject my baby.
Honesty is always the best course, as hard as it may seem now.  It would be best that they know before the baby is born, giving them the needed time to research any effects this might have on the child later on such as learning disabilities, etc.  There are a number of families that are open to some exposure to drugs.  Let your adoption professional know and often they can tell the family and help them through this.


Is it selfish to consider adoption?
No, adoption can be one of the most loving decisions you make for your child. It takes a great deal of love and maturity to know that raising a child can be difficult and that love is not enough to provide what a child needs to thrive. Even with the help of families and friends, the task can be difficult.

Often family and friends are there at the beginning, then when times get more difficult you are on your own. It is important to realize that whatever your decision, you are ultimately going to be the primary caregiver and the person that will need to take care of your child. This can be a sacrifice for many years to come. Many women realize the time is not right for them to parent and that adoption is the most sensible and most important decision they will make for their child and their life.


Some of my friends say I should keep my baby and that children belong with their birthparents, what should I do?
You will need to consider honestly where you are in your life now and if you are ready for parenting at this time. This doesn't mean you are bad, it means you know that you are not at a time in your life that parenting and raising a child is in the best interest for you or your child. It is easy for friends to make comments when they have not been in your position. The only person that can make this decision is you. You want to consider honestly your options of parenting and adoption before the baby is born. We have a number of other birth mothers you can speak to if you would like to find out how they handled their pregnancy. Just ask us.

How can I determine my due date?
The most commonly used method is done using a calendar. If you know when you had your last period, you can look at a calendar and count back three months from the first day of your last period, then add 7 days. That is your due date. For example, if the first day of your last period was January 20 th, you estimated due date would be October 27 th. You can also use the pregnancy calculator online at Lifetime Adoption or call us at 1-800-923-6784, and we will calculate it on a pregnancy wheel. Even though these are all good ways to find your due date, remember that these are just estimated dates. Babies are not always on time: your delivery can be anywhere within 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after your due date. Your doctor can use more reliable methods, such as an ultrasound, measuring the size of the uterus, and knowing the exact date of ovulation.

How can I learn more about adoption?
If you are a birthparent, give us a call, right now at 1-800-923-6784. We are available 24 hours a day and are happy to help you in any way that. We can tell you more about adoption as a choice for you and help you with whatever needs you may have. If you'd rather, you may contact us via email by clicking here.

Adoptive parents may contact us via our email response form. We will respond to you you as soon as possible.